All Americans Should Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

The Left’s crusade to sap all the fun out of living in America struck Cinco de Mayo celebrations years ago when campus Marxists decreed that any non-Mexicans caught wearing sombreros and shotgun shell bandoliers while drinking margaritas and speaking broken Spanish were to be shot on sight for the crime of “racism” (or “cultural appropriation” or “microaggressions” or…). The Left’s sudden hatred of Mexican clothing and broken English struck many casual observers as strange, for obvious reasons, and I myself was left to scratch my head and wonder why exactly left-wingers would single out a relatively benign day-drinking event for obliteration. But, after years of pondering and academic research, I have discovered the true motive behind the Left’s hatred of American Cinco de Mayo celebrations! Cinco de Mayo was, is and forever shall be a celebration of American primacy and is hated by the Left because it highlights American Exceptionalism.

Campus crusaders are very quick to virtue signal in the weeks leading up to May 5th by reminding complete strangers that “Cinco de Mayo isn’t Mexican 4th of July,” “it’s not even celebrated in Mexico,” and “Drumpf is finished.” But like all arguments by leftists, those popular refrains above are either false or completely irrelevant. To understand the true origin of America’s celebration of a Mexican military victory over the French, one must first refamiliarize oneself with the Monroe Doctrine in U.S. foreign policy. Our fifth President of the United States James Monroe, with his Secretary of State John Quincy Adams doing most of the heavy lifting, declared in his seventh State of the Union in 1823 that the United States would not allow European powers to peruse colonial expansion in the Americas. This doctrine was a bold assertion of American power and made known to the Old World that the fledgling American republic considered the whole of the New World within its sphere of influence.

The Monroe Doctrine would be tested in late 1861 when the Second French Empire under Napoleon III invaded the Mexican Republic on the pretense of loan repayment and sought to establish a French client state in America’s southern neighbor. The United States was unable to threaten action against French invasion at the time due to our own Civil War, which began in early 1861, taking up most of President Lincoln’s attention. The U.S. initially feared a swift French conquest of Mexico, exacerbated by early French victories, which would both shrink America’s prestige and place an imperialist European power on our southern border at a time when the federal government could not repel an invasion. Those fears were partially alleviated, however, by Mexico’s improbable victory over the advancing French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1862. This victory signaled to Mexican rebels that Imperial France was far from invincible and inspired the Mexican people to prolong their war against the French and their puppet Emperor of Mexico (yes, this is all real) until the reunited United States could provide material support to Mexican rebels. Five-and-a-half years after their initial invasion, the French were forced out of Mexico in June of 1867 and the Monroe Doctrine, along with America’s sphere of influence over the New World, was preserved.

Cinco de Mayo is a day worthy of celebration in the United States as a way to cheer the brave Mexican fighters who, in dying for their country, guarded our southern flank and bought us time to bind up our nation’s wounds and enforce our national primacy over the Americas. The Battle of Puebla and subsequent French expulsion played a large part in realizing the Monroe Doctrine, which was later used to annex Hawaii, seize Puerto Rico and Guam, and construct the Panama Canal.

This Cinco de Mayo, let’s toast the heroes of the Battle of Puebla and give three cheers for American dominance!